Are you having a hard time sticking to your new diet or exercise program? Does the road to a new you feel far too long? Changing the way you talk to yourself may be the change you need to reach a new you!

By Alison Greiner

Do you talk to yourself? We all do! We are always engaged in conversation with ourselves; sometimes conversations are taking place we aren’t even aware of. The most important opinion that will ever matter in life is the one you have of yourself.

What’s your guiding force?
The only things you can truly control are your thoughts and emotions. You can’t control the driving skills or manners of someone who cuts you off in traffic, but you can control how you respond. You can feel anger, resentment and rage toward the driver or you can be grateful there wasn’t an accident, forgive them for their mistake and carry on with your pleasant drive. Each situation has many possible outcomes; it’s up to you to choose your guiding force.

What is your pattern?
Everything you experience in life is recorded as a memory in your brain. Your brain records experiences and files them into a library of memories. When you experience an event, your brain will automatically search through your library of memories for a similar experience and then you respond on autopilot. The foundation of all our habits and personality traits is mental patterns. We all have thousands of unconscious patterns that guide our thoughts, emotions and actions.

On www.thinkrightnow.com Mike Brescia gives three very simple examples of common mental patterns that can limit a person's chances of long-term success:

1. A salesperson who, as a youth, was routinely treated harshly by other children may feel personally rejected many years later when she loses a sale. Instead of excitement over a possible new business relationship on each new call, there is nothing but fear and anticipation of failure.

2. A former smoker may feel an overpowering urge to light up when he sees an old smoking buddy or even when visiting a place that simply looks similar to an old hangout where he used to smoke a lot. And there is little he can do to stop the urge besides leaving.

3. A person who is overweight may have been given praise or rewards (like dessert) for eating everything on her plate as a child, creating a link in her mind between food and pleasure, acceptance and love, regardless of any contradictory evidence she is presented with today.

You are what you talk about
We know the importance of having a positive attitude, but don’t always know how to achieve and maintain one. What we say to ourselves is a part of our attitude. What we talk about is who we are. By changing what we say to ourselves, we can change our mental patterns so that we can control our actions and not let autopilot guide us to our destination in life.

Changing your self-talk from positive to negative can make the difference between succeeding and failing to achieve your New Year’s resolutions. Whether you relate pleasure with food, discomfort with exercise or rejection to sales, you can change your thoughts and control your actions by affirming yourself.

The 4 Ps of Affirmation

Personal: Your affirmations should be personal. Start your affirmations with “I”. When your affirmations are specific and personal to you, you will take ownership and responsibility for them.

Positive: Keep your affirmations and self-talk positive. If you are trying to quit smoking you should say to yourself, “I am a nonsmoker,” not, “I am going to quit smoking”. Your affirmations should be positive and motivating to create belief.

Present: Keep your affirmations in the present tense. If you are on an exercise program and aiming to lose weight you would say, “I weigh 150 pounds,” not, “I’m going to lose 25 pounds”. Speak in the present tense as if you have already achieved your goal. Declaring the accomplishment as if it has already been acheived will propel you closer to your accomplishment.

Powerful: Repeating your affirmations over and over again with strong feeling, enthusiasm, belief and confidence will drive them deep into the subconscious.

When to use affirmations
Psychologists say the first significant encounter in the morning has more influence on your attitude that day than the next five people you encounter. They also say that the last thing that goes into your subconscious mind at night is what you will mull over throughout the night.

Spend the first and last moments of your day engaged in positive self-talk. Some motivational experts recommend standing in front of the mirror and chanting phrases like, “I like myself, I like myself, I like myself”. Write your affirmations on a piece of paper and read them as many times as you need to during the day. Repeating affirmations in the morning during exercise is a very powerful activity.

Positive input, positive output
Be conscious of what you are feeding your mind. Be selective in what you listen to, read and watch. Ask yourself if this movie, book or music is going to have a negative or positive impact on your beliefs, mental patterns and self-talk. Your mind is like a video camera, it records everything!

Not only should you avoid negative input, but you should actively seek positive input. Spend time nourishing your mind with positive messages. Listen to motivational audio and read motivational books. One of the best programs I’ve tried is the “Think Right Now” program. It helps unscramble your thinking, scrapes off the "rust" and installs new thinking patterns. By teaching you to adopt the mental patterns (unconscious thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and emotions) of people who already think, feel and perform exactly how you want to, this program helps you find success. To try one of these programs click here.