By Alison Greiner

Have you ever seen someone do something that makes you cringe? Have you ever heard someone say something that makes you not want to be around them?

Having good manners is important all year round, but it becomes especially important during the holidays, when shopping feels more like the running of the bulls in Spain. Simply minding your manners will help you control your stress levels, allowing you to stay calm and enjoy the holiday season.

More than one-third of the respondents to the fourth annual Lenox Gift-Giving and Etiquette Survey rate the manners of Americans to be poor; yet 80% of Americans rate their own manners as excellent.

During the holiday season and into 2004 be sure to mind your manners!

Manners ‘Musts’ for the Holidays

1. Be Grateful. Be grateful for everything over the holidays—the company, the presents, the food and the experiences. Especially be grateful when you receive a gift, even if it wasn’t at the top of your wish list. Give a big smile and a warm thank you. If it is absolutely a returnee, quietly speak with the giver in private and explain the situation—don’t embarrass the giver. Many people will experience the holiday season without any presents, so be thankful for all that you receive. See our Daily Success Habits for more gratitude tools.

2. Have patience. Patience is especially important at this time of the year. Be patient in parking lots and shopping malls and on busy roads. There are only so many sales staff; be patient and when it is your turn, smile, look them in the eyes and say please and thank you. Give up that prime parking spot to the car that cut in front of you, then park at the back of the lot and get your exercise for the day.

3. Make eye contact and offer a warm smile. Whether you are at the mall or a family gathering, be courteous and look people in the eye with a warm smile. Everywhere is going to be busy at this time of the year and the store clerks really need special treatment; don’t forget to brighten their day with your pearly whites.

4. Say please and thank you—two words we have heard a thousand times. Say please and thank you to taxi drivers, bus drivers, waiters, flight attendants, store clerks—those two little words mean a lot.

5. Hold the door. Whether young or old, male or female, hold the door for the person behind you—no one likes to have a door slammed in their face. With all the congestion, the five seconds it takes to hold the door open will create no delay in your time.

6. Bring a gift for the hostess. Bring a small token of appreciation to the host or hostess of any party you attend. We will be attending many gatherings this season, so be sure to get your gifts purchased and wrapped ahead of time.

7. Stay to the right. On a sidewalk or escalator, you should stay to the right side. As the volume on elevators and sidewalks increases, it is important to stay on the right path. While shopping, be sure to abide by these rules so traffic can move along more smoothly.

8. Drive courteously. Courteous driving includes the following: don’t block the sidewalk, don’t park in a crosswalk, don’t park at a bus stop, turn music down when driving through neighborhoods, repair your muffler, don’t cut off bicyclists, park in only one parking spot, don’t park too close, use turn signals and don’t drive recklessly. Be cautious and courteous while behind the wheel this holiday season.

9. Don’t litter. Littering doesn’t only apply to garbage, but to cigarettes and animal droppings. This also doesn’t only mean outside, but on public transit, in automobiles and in malls. Remember, nobody likes a litterbug!

10. Don’t use foul language in public. Foul language should be avoided at all times, but it must be avoided in public. You can offend someone and your words may fall right on the ears of an innocent child.

11. Table manners. At a smaller gathering, wait until your host is seated to start eating. At larger gatherings, the host may tell you to start, in this case wait for one or two others to be seated so you aren’t the only one at the table eating. Waiting for the host is also a good idea because you don’t want to have the fork in your mouth right as they begin to say grace. Keep your elbows off the table, don’t talk with food in your mouth and keep your bites small. When you sit down, place your napkin on your lap. Don’t wipe your face with the napkin throughout the meal, rather dab your lips. When you are finished the meal gently place the napkin next to your plate.

12. Turn the cell phone off. Your cell phone should be turned off during a business meeting, luncheon or social function, at church or on public transit. Although we all like to stay in touch during the holidays, turn your phone off at dinner and when sharing special time with friends and family.

According to CivilCity.org, the Top 10 Rude Things People Do are:

• Talk on cell phones too close to others
• Litter
• Hog seats on bus/train
• Drive recklessly
• Use bad language in public
• Honk horn unnecessarily
• Loud or missing mufflers
• Not clean up after pets
• Smoke in non-smoking areas
• Ignore customers

With all this in mind, stay true to your manners this holiday season!

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